The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/06
This is well written and had my attention all the way through. Dreams were lost but hopefully your character could fall back onto the One is always there to go to. Nice job!
02/21/06
I need to know what happened. Hopefully there is a "chapter two" somewhere. Chapter One was great.
02/22/06
I too, wanted some closure--not necessarily a "happy ending," just perhaps a glimpse into her spirit after receiving this news. Consider doing a bit of trimming in the body of the story, so that in a final paragraph, we can see how she receives the news.
Very well written. Brought me to a point where I wanted to see what happened next. I agree, maybe a chapter 2, 3 and even 4? Add some closure and a little hope into the mix and you have a wonderful story here. Good Work and God Bless.
Well written, good story, & good dialogue. Word count can be a drag. 748 words in a story with another 700 or more that can easily be written. I liked it. Good job.