The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/04/21
I love your story. Well written.
09/07/21
I enjoyed your story it was
very entertaining.
Red ink...
Careful with punctuation.
It os almost always within quotations"."
You did punctuate correctly a few times but there were more than a few where the punctuation was outside of the quotations.
Other than that- well done.
This made me smile. My favorite part (I think I actually snickered) was the I was 16 and probably obnoxious. I just thought that was quite brilliant and made me smile for a long time. As for punctuation being outside of quatation marks, UK writers have slightly different rules, so it is acceptable for UK writers to put some outside the marks. Some try to change to appease US readers, but it's not necessary. You did have some punctuation hiccups though. Em dashes should be the length of the letter "M" so it looks like this--the hyphen or en dash-is the size of the letter N (hence the names! :) Also there shouldn't be spaces on either side. The other thing I noticed was an occasional semicolon that didn't separate two independent clauses. All of these things are minor though. The important things like writing on topic in an interesting way and delivering a clear message were done nicely. Your beginning pulled me in right away and piqued my interest. Your ending made me smile. I liked the line about being your mom's favorite. I would often tell all three of my kids I loved them best. If one whined, "Why doesn't my brother have to unload the dishwasher?" My answer was always "Because I love him best." I did it equally with all of them depending on which one was asking the annoying but it's not fair question. So your story took me back. You're doing a fine job. Keep writing!