The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/20/21
This reminds me of my own sister and the close relationship we had. She went Home to be with the Lord after complications of her second battle with cancer. I know your sorrow and you did a very good job of describing it in this writing.
This is a lovely story. I can feel the MC's emotions. Becareful of words that should be one word or hyphenated (sunburned, grandkids, bikini-clad). You have a strong message. Our world can change so suddenly and unexpectedly, yet God is still there to always comfort us and give us strength.
05/20/21
You wrote from deep within...I could feel your heaviness and burden.

Your piece is a legacy to those loved one's lost to dementia.

Bittersweet and introspective.

Thankfully you followed it with the relief of time etched out to be spent with our Father.

Well done.

One piece of red ink. The initial combination of sentences seemed a bit awkward. Almost as if they needed to be combined or separated by a new line.

I'm not qualified to offer writing or grammatical critiques, having no training. However I do read
voraciously so I hope my advise is well received.
Good job. This was my favorite line...”He rests there with me in the memory, seeing it clearly as only He and I now can.” I feel that often and you did a nice job of putting that into words.
05/25/21
My heart is moved so deeply, and filled with emotions that are palpable.

I've seen and witnessed so many lose their fight to that mind altering ravaging disease, and the family members who have cried in my office all remain in petitions in my heart.

You did a fine job with the topic as you wrote a moving piece, sharing your heart with ours. Well done.

God bless you~
05/27/21
Beautifully written. Very moving
05/27/21
I appreciated every word, every thought, every gentle inspiration you have conveyed in this sweet story. Thank you so much! :-)
07/30/21
This is a wonderful story. I especially like where you make mention of the Footprints poem without actually saying the name of it. This is a great way to allude to something in a subtle way.

Thanks.