The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/09/21
Although your article is Biblical, has good content and can be used for a bible study discussion, I found it quite heavy; too many facts in only about 750 words.

Perhaps just take one of the three facts you mention and embroider on that.

05/11/21
Your entry held lots of good content, however had a few punctuation and grammar errors.

May I suggest reading it aloud back to your self for continuity and it also helps in catching minor but important
grammatical errors.
You do a nice job of showing the different examples in the Bible where people looked for a stronger relationship with Christ. The Holy Spirit's presence in these stories give us our faith today.