The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Although your article is Biblical, has good content and can be used for a bible study discussion, I found it quite heavy; too many facts in only about 750 words.

Perhaps just take one of the three facts you mention and embroider on that.

Your entry held lots of good content, however had a few punctuation and grammar errors.

May I suggest reading it aloud back to your self for continuity and it also helps in catching minor but important
grammatical errors.
You do a nice job of showing the different examples in the Bible where people looked for a stronger relationship with Christ. The Holy Spirit's presence in these stories give us our faith today.