Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SMILE (08/13/20)
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TITLE: Elmosolyodik | Previous Challenge Entry
By Sue Botte
08/17/20 -
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Maria is squinting. ‘What is that I am seeing in the mirage? It looks just like Hannah, but more like a statue. She is thinking as she approaches the water well, also a place of gathering.
‘Hannah, what is so troublesome to you?’
Hannah does not answer Maria. Instead, she gets up and walks back to her home, leaving behind her pail of water. There is no space in her heart for a conversation with Maria and, even if she wanted to share her contrite heart, most definitely not at the well where everybody is whispering. Whispering about her, Hannah; she does not care.
She did not hear Maria call out to her about her pail of water.
Hannah’s heart is filled with grief.
She is not aware her cheeks are dust streaked because of her tears. She is weeping. No sound from her mouth, only more questions in her mind, going round, and round.
‘Why, my Lord, why? Am I not good enough, your faithful and dedicated servant, what have I done to deserve this?, please my Lord.’
Hannah’s heavy heart makes it difficult for her to hasten to her home. There, she finds some comfort, but not before Peninnah, her husband Elkanah’s, other wife taunts her. Hannah just wants to hide.
Hide, especially from Peninnah. She seldom escapes her taunting. She is also dreading the upcoming sacrificial offering at Shiloh, yet she feels compelled to be there.
Hannah is miserable. Her heart has forgotten how to smile, although she has the love of her husband. It is unclear whether Elkanah married Hannah first or second, irrespective, she is his first and only love. Yet Hannah is bitterly unhappy.
At the appointed time Elkanah and his family, including Peninnah’s sons and daughters leave for the Temple of Yahweh in Shiloh.
Hannah receives only one portion as offering, as was custom to a married woman who has no children. The ideal opportunity, once again for Peninnah’s taunts.
At the table, with concern for Hannah, Elkanah asks: ‘Hannah, why are you so sad? You are not eating, why, am I not more to you than ten sons?’
Hannah rose from the table and took her stand before Yahweh. As she is praying, the weight on her heart is lifting. Hannah carries on praying, making supplication to the Lord as well as a vow.
For what seems to be a long time, not hearing any words from her mouth, but only seeing her lips move, Eli the priest, who was sitting at the gate, misinterprets her silent prayer as ramblings of a drunken person. As she turns around to leave the Temple, Eli scolds her for drunkenness.
‘No, my lord, I do not take wine or any strong drink. I have been pouring out my soul to Yahweh. All this time I have been speaking from the depth of my grief and my resentment.’
He then, blesses her, ‘Shalom, go in peace.’
A few days later, back home in Ramathaimzophim, every now and then Hannah is breaking into a smile; softly humming praises to the Lord. Hannah knew she is with child, a male child.
Peninnah is walking past Hannah and before she could taunt her, notices her smile. Instinctively, she knew her position as the woman who bore Elkanah children, has changed.
Soon it will be evident to all.
I have no doubt, when Hannah was laid to rest; it was with a smile on her lips and a smile in her heart.
_____________ .
*‘to break into a smile.’ (Hungarian)
From ‘I Never Knew There Was A Word For It’ by Adam Jacot de Boinod, page 243.
Some part fiction, some part non-fiction. Based on The First Book of Samuel, Chapter 1. The Jerusalem Bible - Reader’s Edition 1968, pages 295 and 296.
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Your story would work better if you used past tense words:
Maria, Hannah’s neighbor, hastily APPROACHED the water.
You briefly mentioned the topic word of smile, but it was not the focus of your entry. The judges are looking for the topic word to be the main part of your story. You could say how many times Hannah smiled knowing she had God's favor, etc...
Keep up the writing.
Blessings~