The Official Writing Challenge
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You packed a lot of topics into this piece! As far as feet are concerned, it seems my feet rule my body! If they hurt, I hurt all over. But I understand your point about the brain. It really is a mind game.
Reminds me of the children’s song, “be careful little feet where you go...”.
A lot of good commentary in your piece. I would have liked you to 'lead' me in your writing than telling me 'where' you were taking me. Good job!
You make some excellent points in this mini-sermon. I could easily picture a minister preaching this in the pulpit. The first bit is mainly a definition of the topic and doesn't necessarily pull the reader in. On the message boards under Jan's Writing Basics, ( you can find some great advice about this. Even though she doesn't do new lessons, there is some great advice there.
Instead of telling the reader what you are going to do next, just do it: (That’s where I wish to hang out in this writing.)
Put links to videos and other references in the end in an author's footnote.
You've made some great points. I think you probably could expand on just one idea instead of trying to put too much information in all at once. I remember being told that in my first submissions here too. It wasn't until I read and commented each week on almost every entry until the point really hit home with me. Reading and commenting is one of the most important things I've done to improve my writing and to help me figure out what works for me. Keep writing, you have a lot of potential.