The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/23/20
This is a fantastic start of a story that could be very useful to a parent. I assume it is a first draft. It needs significant self-editing but it will be worth the time and energy because the content and lessons are outstanding. Keep editing and rewriting until the story and lessons flow smoothly and realistically from father to child. Don't give up on it! You will be proud of this story.
You sure are knowledgable of bears!
Good analogy, needs a little tidying up though, yet I enjoyed it.
04/25/20
Worth revising because of the great analogies. Keep writing!