The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 65 times
Member Comments
When I began reading your story, I was immediately curious about what the protagonist was doing and why. I liked that you slowly revealed a bit here and a bit there until I could guess that she was smuggling Bibles.

My favorite line was:
She smiled, "something like that."

As for critiquing the story, I would say:
Watch for repetitive use of words. For example, how many times did you use the word walk/walked? Or, did you use the word "all" twice in one sentence? Etc.

Nice work. :)
The bones are here for a compelling story. One well worth working on. You have everything here to make it really sing. Just try more 'showing' and less 'telling'
I truly enjoyed your whole story, it held my attention and also brought forward an important message.

Good job with the topic!
I knew about half way into the story that she was carrying Bibles, but but you did a good job of telling the story.
Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I agree with the comments from Sara and Terry. Great premise, with a little work, this could soar!
Your story held my attention until the end. I thought you did a real good job!
I really like your article "The Flight of the Librarian". It made me smile.