The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/11/19
Thank you for honest feelings and for sharing this with us.

I'm glad you find "church a welcome" place...where God loves us all, moppy hair, short hair, or long.

Good job with the topic,
Blessings~
You have a great foundation here. If you develop it a bit more I could see a lot of potential for the piece. Be careful about proofreading. You have several errors (missing words, know instead of now, capitalization errors). Even reading it aloud might help you see some of these things. It's a bit weak on topic. You mention hair, but the story isn't entirely about hair. However, you have some good lines that most everyone can relate to. Your last paragraph is a strong one that really speaks about God's love. Keep reading and writing.
I also felt accepted at church youth group!