The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/18/19
This is an interesting story, right on topic. Dividing it into paragraphs would make for easier, more inviting reading. The red ink? Cement is not capable of grabbing or reaching, so a little rewriting is needed on that point.
Ouch! Hope you were okay. It would be easier to read this if you would separate into paragraphs. Look at other entries- see how much easier to read when there is plenty of white space. Amazing that you just kept on going. I would have called it a day!
04/22/19
Absolutely loved the way you described the accident. Written in such a way as I actually felt the accident happening to me, and that’s not an easy to convey to put the reader right in the middle of it all! Well done