The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/07/19
Praise the Lord. What a great read. I can relate, albeit in a different way, to the frustration of never wishing death to come, yet being stuck. It's a terrible feeling. I like your style of writing. I could see this as a possible book: How to Find Adventure Without Leaving the House: The humor and tragedy of the stuck life. Could be a winner. I laughed out loud at the humor in this and my heart leapt at the joy of finding His grace and freedom through this...misadventure? Wonderful. Loved it.
03/08/19
Such an excellent introspective piece that held me all the way through the read.

The honest approach and the familiarity of hearing "a care givers" laments is something I've heard a great deal of my career and life, and you wrote of it so well, with a clarifying faith based approach that was refreshing and a joy to read.

Thank you for this,
and
God Bless you~
This is a lovely message. I'm sure not only did you feel an obligation to your mom, but since dementia often changes people, I bet you miss the mom you remember too. My biggest red ink is about your punctuation. You use quite a few exclamation points. Instead let your words do your exclaiming. You also mix up em dashes and en dashes. I also noticed quite a few colons, when perhaps another form of punctuation might work better. I have a great resource I use regularly for punctuation that would explain it all better than I can:
https://guidetogrammar.org/grammar/marks/marks.htm
There's a quiz after each section too to help you decide if you truly understand it. Punctuation is something that can be fixed easily. Your message is great. I love how the ending brings the story full-circle again.
I like the light-hearted manner in telling this story, even though it betrays the mc's pain.
03/11/19
I appreciated your description of emotions, then ending with the hope we have in Jesus. Well done.