Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER (02/28/19)
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TITLE: Thought s of Home | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dorothy MOFFITT
03/07/19 -
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many soldiers liked to claim,
many received 'dear John' letters
from those who bore their name.
War brides saw off their serviceman,
to wait long years of war,
did absence make their hearts grow
fonder-some were not sure.
Explorers left wives at home
to travel to unknown lands,
were they greeted upon return
when grasped in familiar hands?
The joy of returning
to those we left at home,
whenever we do return
from where we may roam.
Seeing the wonder of other climes
though grander than our home,
makes us fonder of the familiar
and yearn for hearths well known.
Absence from work, be it
holidays or absconding,
makes the place seem
better than fonding.
God is never absent from
those called by his name.
“I am always with you”
is his substantial claim.
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The second stanza may read more smoothly if the last line read, 'some were not yet sure (or, quite sure).
The third stanza first line would also read more flowy if it said, 'explorers left their wives at home.'
Finally, the God part at the end seems a little forced or kind of an after-thought. Maybe including Him in one of the earlier stanzas would make it feel more like it belonged.
Otherwise, I loved the poem!
Thank you,
Blessings~