The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 84 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I loved your title! You write as though you have experienced being a military wife. I felt like an eavesdropper on the conversation. Good job!
03/07/19
While this story dealt with a serious and difficult situation military families face, I like that it also had some sweet and lighthearted moments. Well done. Keep writing. :)
You told in just enough detail what families go through during times of deployment. I feel you also told exactly how those same families can stay together. I enjoyed reading this. Well done!
03/08/19
Thank you for your story - it gave me great insight into military families. I take my hat off to them. It must be so difficult for the wife, always being under the threat of not seeing her husband again. As you said, God is the glue needed to keep them together...and carry her through the not-knowing. Well done with great dialogue. Blessings.
03/08/19
Fantastic job with the topic as you shared intimate details of what life is like for "military families" and those who serve.

Tender, and well done.

Thank you for sharing with us.

God Bless~
This is a good story about a successful marriage with enforced separation. . The dialogue was realistic, and the "glue" for a good marriage described well.
03/08/19
Why are you not in Masters yet? This was so well done!

Your dialogue was real, and the heartache of long absences came through clearly here.
You did a great job of pulling me in right away. You showcase the conflict right away. I can feel the pain of the MC.
The ending was great. I was sure it might end in tragedy, but I liked what you did with it. I'm not positive that you needed the last two to three paragraphs telling the moral of the story because you did an outstanding job of showing us the message. Perhaps instead, after she hangs up, have her pray thanking God for making the difference, for preventing them from becoming another statistic. Overall though, you did a fantastic job. It flowed nicely. I liked the dialog (maybe add some thoughts in italics and some body language too). You have a clear Christian message. I'm guessing this is based on a true story. I'd like to thank anyone in the military for serving, but also thank the families who stay home for the tremendous sacrifices spouses, children, and parents, siblings, and friends make too. Thank you.
03/09/19
This is really good.

A couple of very small suggestions. I think you missed a word here... "That's the other wives are for." "what" should be after "That's."

Also, you mention them talking about their "offspring." "Offspring" feels too formal for this piece. I think I would have used "kids." But that could just be me.

Over all, I thought this was really good. You really captured the feelings well.
03/13/19
There are unsung heroes of wars and you've captured it well. I love the way you wove it all together in a very well-done entry.
03/14/19
Congrats!
Blessings~