The Official Writing Challenge
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You have some very colorful descriptions here! But I am really confused. What was the explosion on Molly's face and why was she knocked over the couch? Great idea about brain mapping- perhaps you could have worked more with that theme. At first, I thought I was watching a video game with the blow ups and somersaults.
02/08/19
Your opening makes the emotions of your MC's frustration with her mom's dementia very real. I like the image of brain mapping as well as God mapping out our lives.
02/09/19
The opening scene puzzled me, so I started over. I don't think it works. BUT I love the rest of the piece. Moses and his wilderness experiences help us so much. We can identify with all the perplexity and struggle, but also the need for faith in our God who is revealing His love and character to us day by day. Really liked the way you let us see the MC's thoughts. I encourage you to go back and tweak the beginning and then get this story out where it can encourage many.
I can imagine dealing with a parent with dementia could definitely feel like a video game with land mines exploding or even like real-life land mines (or a play on words land minds). You do a nice job describing the blasts. I liked your conclusion a lot. It's a powerful message.
02/13/19
Wow!

This is such a multi-layered deeply powerful piece!

Well done, great job with this entry.

God bless~
You did a good job writing a creative piece on the topic. I could feel your passion and like your quote, “He is my map book.” You expressed well your frustration with your mom and feeling clueless.
I liked the image of the brain map and how you used specific explanation.
I would consider omitting the first sentence which doesn’t seem to fit. You used good wording with action words like “frazzled” and “pounded.” Did you mean to use the word “plagues” or “plaques?”
Your piece has a good flow of ideas and a clear focus on encouraging Christians in the metal battle against the enemy.
You have an excellent presentation of truth and used a good comparison with the story of Moses.
I like the specific scripture, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. “ You did an excellent job!