The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
02/08/19
Your poem shows more than a general knowledge of maps. The stanza about the Bible being our map seems out of place where it is in the poem. Perhaps it would fit better at the end? Great entry.
02/09/19
I agree with the comment about the Bible as a map coming at the end of the poem. I was thinking the same thing as I read it. An easy fix :-). This would leave the Map of Life as the take-away for the reader.
I'm not an expert at poetry and am tone deaf so can't speak to the rhythm of the piece, but I think this is a good poem. I liked the way you painted a picture for me. I could see the MC trying to decide which destination is right. I noticed in one verse you switched from second person (you) to first plural (we). Try to keep that consistent if possible. I like how you brought it full circle from pouring over map in beginning and again in the end, but that last verse didn't feel like a strong ending. Maybe one more verse about how you like pouring over all kinds of maps, but if you follow God's map, you're never lost. Of course that's just a quick thought and may be hard to make it flow, but I think a stronger ending would leave the reader with more hope. You've an awesome start. Tweak it a few more times, and I bet you'll have an incredible piece.
02/13/19
Beautifully done!
God Bless~