The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/17/19
Ha Ha, you're honesty made me laugh - especially the line about enough rocket fuel to blast off.
Your thoughts seemed to ramble around a bit and got a little confusing at times. Also, a specific example would help the reader to relate to your thoughts.
Thanks for writing this. Keep it up.
01/17/19
Ugh... I wish I could edit my comments. ("your honesty")
01/17/19
I’m supposed to be learning how to critique. Please excuse this amateur attempt: You’ve got good material here to work with, but it needs shaping. If this were my piece, I would scratch the first paragraph and start over. Work the definitions of walking and talking into your story — your second paragraph. Your ending thoughts are useful and on topic. Knowing you have something very worthwhile to say here, I suggest you start over and write this again. It is worth investing the time and effort. I’d love to see the next draft.
01/19/19
Great job with this, loved your message and this entry.

Thank you.

God Bless~
I like your spunk! But consider your audience when choosing words, for they may be offensive to some, and right on the mark to others.No more victim for you!