The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/17/19
This is definitely on topic! I know that procrastinating is one of my problems.
I noticed that you could use help with punctuation. (commas, question marks, etc.) Ann Grover has some good lessons on the FW Forum.
I like your ending. Thanks for writing this. Keep it up.
You do a fine job of explaining the topic. If someone hadn't understood what it meant, they would get it after reading this piece. You jump around a little bit. Work on transitioning from one thought to the next. It doesn't have to be an elaborate transition. For example I might suggest something like this: While procrastinating over household chores could cause violent dust bunnies, it's vital not to put off spiritual manners. I tried to add a bit of humor just to show you humor can work in this type of an article too. I might also urge you to use dialog and body language. For example instead of the phrase people say that, make it dialog: Once, I saw someone cross her arms, roll her eyes, and say, "I'm too busy to go to church."
I put my hand on her shoulder and said, "Have you ever thought about accepting Jesus as your Savior?"
Little things like adding dialog and body language can add some spark to a piece. Your message is powerful. I like your take on the topic too. I tend to be a bit of a procrastinator so I could relate to your words. Your passion about spreading the news of Jesus is palpable and will touch hearts in many ways. Nice job.
01/19/19
Great message here!
Keep writing!

God bless~
I like your ending-so true!