The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/17/19
What a great example of this topic! I like using Bible stories too. I especially like to retell them as if I were one of the characters - incorporating good descriptions and character traits.
Thanks for writing this. Keep it up!
I enjoyed this retelling. You made some great points. The only red ink I have is minor. It doesn't bother me, but I've seen it bother others. Be careful about getting into God's head. The line about God changing Saul is to what I'm referring. I agree with your point, but God is able to see things we humans can't. An easy fix would be to say, I believe God would have helped Saul. In this case, it's a tiny thing, but I've seen others turn it into a big thing, so I wanted to mention it. I think you did a nice job of writing on topic. The ending may have not been your strongest part, but you had a great beginning, transitioned smoothly, nailed the topic in a fresh way, and had a clear Christian message. Good job.
01/19/19
Love this! Anything with Bible retelling or Bible references really gets to me and makes me sit up and smile.

Well done,

God bless~
In some of the writing lessons in the forum, it was told to avoid using the actual topic word in your article. There are creative ways to get around that, though sometimes, it is necessary. I see lots of study went into your story! Keep up your writing.