The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/17/19
This had a very modern rap beat feel to it - with ending rhymes, but not a regular rhythm.
I noticed that you capitalized the word "Liar" - meaning Satan, but not "maker" - meaning God. Maybe it was an oversight, but was important to me. (Also, note the spelling of "liar.")
Your message was clear. Thanks for writing this. Keep it up!
This is an interesting poem. I could easily see it as a mini-sermon in many church pulpits. I know you included the topic words in the poem, which was nice, but I'm not sure if the topic flows throughout the entire piece. Poetry is not my strong suit at all, so I won't comment on the flow or meter. I did notice a couple of minor typos. You used lead, but spelled it like the present tense (rhymes with deed) or the metal. I think you wanted led or maybe leads it. I also think you wanted to bear you, not bare (unless you want to uncover your subject). Those are little things, but they can make a big difference in meaning. You have some great rhymes. Some felt a tiny bit forced, but overall, I felt they fit nicely. The message is a strong one. I can definitely feel your passion in your words. I also believe the Holy Spirit had a hand in your writing. It's always powerful when I can feel the Holy Spirit nudging me.
01/17/19
I'm just starting to try to improve my writing by critiquing other's submissions. Poetry is not my thing, but this grabbed me. I noticed each of the words (noted in the above critiques) that need fixing, , so you do want to fix those obvious easy fixes. But all in all, I think this is an attention-getting message, well put.
01/19/19
I really loved the message and meaning behind your words, well done!
Thank you...

God bless~
01/19/19
Good message. Ditto on the above critiques. Keep up the good work.
01/19/19
Good message. Ditto on the above critiques. Keep up the good work.
I read this with the rap beat, and it seemed to fit. Would be great for a youth sermon!