Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SHOP (01/03/19)
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TITLE: What You Really Need | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tricia Draper
01/09/19 -
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“I have to have that!” exclaimed a young woman pulling a sparkling gown off the rack.
“Oh, I can’t possible live without this,” said a lady probably in her thirties.
I shook my head and sighed as my brown hair swept across my face. I had worked in this upscale boutique for about 6 months. I had seen unbelievable things happen in here. I have seen grown women screaming, crying, throwing fits and even fighting over dresses. I was thirty years old, but it seemed some days were spent babysitting grownups, and this was one of those days.
“Excuse me, Miss, but I need these wrapped right now!” a pretty blonde woman said to me, handing me five designer gowns. Our prices ranged from about $500 to $2,000 and hers look more toward the expensive side. Even though I was often mistreated, I stayed so I could pray for the people who needed it so much.
I believe there is a God shaped hole on the inside of everyone. It is a place only He can fill. People search everywhere for things that can fill the longing desire in their souls, and many of the people I see here are trying to shop for the things they think will fill that. There are days I just want to cry for these lost souls.
I look up as the door opened. As I watched this woman walk in I was surprised. She was wearing a plain shirt and ragged skirt. She didn’t look like anyone else in the room. The difference I saw was that she was radiating. I couldn’t figure it out. She was frail and thin, but she had a glow around her.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
She smiled weakly and asked, “May I try on one of your dresses?”
Curiosity drove me. I felt like I knew her even though we had just met. “I would love to help you.”
She smiled and coughed. Her skin was pale and white. She looked like she could fall apart any minute.
“What’s your name?” I inquired.
“My name is Alice,” she said sheepishly. She kept her eyes down. She didn’t seem to want to share anything else. She looked around with wide eyes and asked, “Could you help me pick a white dress, please.”
“Sure,” I said. She seemed kind of lost. “Is there a price point you are looking for?”
“Any price is fine,” she said as her eyes darted to the floor.
I led her over to some dresses. “You will look beautiful in any of these.”
She looked through a small section and then lifted one off the rack. “Can I try on this one?” she asked eagerly. She was smiling excitedly.
To my amazement, it was a dress many women bought for their wedding. She tried it on and it looked as if it were made just for her. We both stood there shocked.
We walked out to the front and she stood in front of a full length mirror. We were both speechless. She had the eyes of everyone in the room on her.
She opened her mouth and said, “I’m sorry I haven’t told you the truth, but I can’t buy this dress. You see, I am dying soon and I wanted to see myself how God sees me. I want to see how a beautiful He thinks I am. Sorry to mislead you, but thank you for the gift you have given me.”
She was radiant. “Is that how God sees me, too?” I wondered.
As she left, I said, “Alice, thank you for the wonderful gift you have given me today. I will always remember this. There is no shopping that can fulfill the longing of the heart that you displayed today. God bless you.”
She walked out and the whole store’s atmosphere had changed. The other ladies were not making a spectacle of themselves. There seemed to be an understanding that something amazing had just taken place.
Even though I am a strong believer, that day God showed me that there are many areas I can still learn from Him. I was reminded of the scripture that encourages us that where our heart is, there is our treasure. No shopping can fill that hole in us except for God.
(This is a work of fiction)
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Take care with your tenses - you move from present to past quite often. Also, there are missing words - it helps me to read my work aloud because then I see the words I have missed.
Also, most publications prefer that you spell out the word for numbers one-nine, and 10 above use the numbers.
Thank you!
God bless~
God Bless~