The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 90 times
Member Comments
Yes, use the vanity to remind ourselves that our lives are not in vain if we belong to Jesus Christ. Good tactic! I give the first section leading up to the 'covers over your head' question 4.5 stars out of 5, but the last three paragraphs I would give only 2 stars. What you wrote in those last three was definitely the Truth, but for me it didn't 'pack a punch'. If the ending could be rewritten in such a way that no one would forget it... : )
(The following paragraph could be tightened up and condensed...clean and crisp, so no one forgets) "If you are living your the only thing that cleanses from all sin."

For others,(no comma needed here) who have repented..."

Listen, He is calling you, (No comma needed here) too.
What if everyone who posted in Challenge entries also commented on/critiqued at least three others? I'm shocked that so many post, and so few read and post a review for others. It seems only a few people have the courtesy to critique but would like the critiques on their own. I am new here, and originally was excited about this site. If you are one who DOES regularly read and comment on others work, then may the Lord bless you mightily and publish you quickly.
That is so true that all is vanity without Christ. I like your article and the Scripture verses you used. Well done. God bless!
I like how your article pointed out several definitions of the word vanity. Lots of good food for thought. Thank you!
Great devotional.

A few general comments. First of all, just because you're writing a devotional doesn't mean you have to stick with "just the facts." Tell a story, and let that be the main thrust of your devotional. That would give it a creative edge. As it is, between with the wikipedia definition and the Bible quotes, I'd have added more of your original thoughts to make this stand out a bit more.

There are definitely some good truths in here.
I applaud this lovely entry which so succinctly and classically paints the picture of how the "unsaved" and the "redeemed" each see the work of Christ. Regardless of how the unsaved makes the effort to "clean up," the result, without the redemption of Christ is, "What's the point?"
Nicely done!
This is a great article. Personally, I don't think you needed the Wikipedia definition (although, remember to start the quote with a capital letter.) instead I'd love to see you expand on your opening. For example, I might do this: I stared at my little table with the three-way mirror, a small drawer in front, and a bench to sit on. So plopped done at my vanity, stared at myself in the mirror and wondered about its name. I scratched my head, <i>Hmm, do I show an excessive belief in my abilities? </i> After pondering for a bit, I jumped up and grabbed my Bible, eager to see what it had to say.

I know I took some liberties, but I wanted to show how you could paint more of a picture for the reader by using body language, dialog, and thoughts.

You do a great job of tackling this difficult topic. You nailed the topic while delivering a powerful message. I noticed sometimes you switched voices (from I to we to you). I'd suggest you stay consistent. Some like when writers speak directly to the reader, but I find it less personal. It's a matter of preference, but something to think about. I really liked your last paragraph. I think it summed up the article and is a powerful message. I might even get a marker and jot that line on my mirror to remind me. "My life is not in vain because I belong to Jesus."