The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/24/06
Good grip on a story and worded to capture attention. Suggest paying close attention to grammar & punctuation, though - run it through a spell/grammar check. English isn't everyone's strong suit, but don't let it stop a good writer!
01/24/06
Your fourth paragraph reached out and grabbed me--good job!

Unless he had a mouthful of feathers, I think you meant "foul" mouthed. An easy mistake to make. And watch for shifts from present tense to past tense.

Keep writing, your message was very important.
01/27/06
I'm glad God had other plans for Tom as He has for so many of us. Thanks for sharing.
02/21/06
Did you mean that Tom was 'staggering' past the church? Nicely written. I like the questions about how he would be greeted - makes us think.