The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Great job showing the growth of a child and how it affects the mother and how she changes too.

(red ink) The line: “Your worried you failed him and don’t have a clue” should have started with You’re. (red (ink)

May God continue to put words in your mind so your hands can write.
Good flow. I was ready to be encouraged at the end of the third stanza but just sad after the last. The movie is not supposed to end like that. Made me think though. Keep writing.
Well done,
Often we have no idea as young mothers with newborns what the future holds for the baby we hold in our arms, even though we think we've got it all planned out. I heard from a preacher that it is true what God says, that we are to train up a child in the way he (or she) should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it. Yes, God's Word is certainly true, no matter what we see with our natural eyes. But in the meantime, the Lord is using them to train us. We mothers (parents) are being trained as warriors. We learn to fight the good fight. But we will win. Amen? Yes and Amen.
(red ink) Your burdened to see him become someone great.

should be You're

I enjoyed reading this and didn't have any problem following your thought process. Poetically there were some areas where the flow was broken and I had to stop to regain momentum. Overall, a nice entry.
I really like this poem Annette. Congratulations on your EC. You have expressed the parenting story very well in this lovely poem. I like its honesty and the way it reflects a loving mother's feelings so accurately, in great verse. Two of my favorite lines are:
"His wings are a flappin’. You want him to fly—
right after you shoot all the harm from the sky." Other people have mentioned the need for a little editorial checking and I agree, but overall this is great poetry. Very moving too!