The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/14/18
This was a fun way to read about the various ways in which things are askew.
I would have appreciated some kind of introduction that tied all the different ideas together. Maybe some mention of how things being out of line throws us off or makes things uncomfortable?
Poetry can be very structured or very free
That's the beauty of it - I feel you went for structure but didn't quite get there in rhythm or cadence.
Try and touch on all 5 senses as you describe situations. Use metaphor and simile and a good thesaurus to improve your work. Blessings and keep writing.
My favourite verse is the Jonah one - love "till he repented and exhaled"