The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/10/18
You did a good job of describing all the sounds. It sounds very noisy! You use some of those ”salsa” words and phrases which make the writing more interesting (like “they seemed to compelled to comment”). It would have been great to have a stronger conclusion that “wrapped things up more.”Thank you for sharing and keep writing!
05/10/18
Well done, I enjoyed this.

Blessings~
05/11/18
I like this description of the dogs, makes them almost human-like (which every dog owner knows they are), "Sitting in their lanais, surveying their kingdom they seem to be compelled to comment on every truck, motorcycle or life form that passes by." Great use of descriptive language!
A great cacophany of noise! Well done. As we get older noise can seem quite annoying at times but you managed to inject a good note of curiosity and satisfaction with the wildlife noises, in particular. And I learnt a new word (our dialect differences!) I never knew what a lanai was until I looked it up. Thanks.