The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 189 times
Member Comments
I enjoyed the way you built the tension between the two characters while also explaining their history. It made me want to know what would happen.
My problem is, you don't tell us! What did Betty do in the end? What happened?!
The fact that I'm so interested to know, says what a great job you did of involving the reader.
Thanks for the read

I loved Betty. You made me care about her. I felt her indignation and worry.

The historic background was great! You released the information in a concise and clear way.

I found some punctuation hiccups, but I could guess they were casual.

You did a good job with the POV. However, I fancied to know more about Betty's inner thoughts as she advanced in the plot.

Well done!


I enjoyed your subtle sense of humor. You had me smiling. I'd love to see you expand on this even more. You have words left to describe thoughts body language and actions too.
I enjoyed your take on the topic. I think a lot of readers will be able to relate to this. Good job.
It does sound like a country song; A good ole boy trying to get something for nothing.
Congratulations for placing highly commended in the Intermediate category, Betty.