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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: FRAGILE (02/23/17)
The first time I saw Amni she was standing outside of a makeshift hut that was her home. Her 'home' was on the edge of the refugee camp where I worked. It was made of sticks and covered by a green tarpaulin. She was waving happily at me as I drove by.

It was the 1980's and I was a volunteer nurse in a North African country. This little girl looked about five years old and she was always smiling. She lived with her grandmother Aya.

"Where is her mother" I once asked her grandmother.

"Her parents were both 'gone'" Aya said with finality.

Amni's smiling face was a bright shining star in this sea of despair, or so it seemed to me. In this camp were thousands of sad husbandless and fatherless families. My heart was drawn to her. She was fragile and innocent and exuded joy.

With permission, I was allowed to give small non-monetary gifts to her small family. When our team was forced to leave the camp six months later my greatest sorrow was Amni. I knew that I would not see her again. She personified to me what this camp was about.to me she was the neigbour that Jesus said we were to "love as we love ourselves".*

On the day we left she was playing near the exit. I stopped my small van and I gave her my small pink mirror, a pencil and paper as a parting gift.Tearfully I prayed for her as I hugged her small frame.
"Goodbye sweet Amni. I will never forget you and may God bless you and keep you safe" was my prayer.

Thirty or more years later I still pray for her and I wonder what this lovely innnocent had become. Did she live through the seemingly hopeless environment and return to her country home and is she still alive and living well? God knows!

*James 2: 14 - 16.
What good is it, my brothers, if someone claims to have faith, but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you tells him, “Go in peace; stay warm and well fed,” but does not provide for his physical needs, what good is that?…
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Tonya Stevenson
03/05/17
Enjoyed your story and thoughts.
Dennis Gallemore
03/06/17
Interesting story!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/07/17
This is a powerful story. You brought the little girl to life. Don't forget to use punctuation when you use dialog. You could also tighten it up some. For example, I might do something like this:

I remember the first time I saw Amni. On the edge of a refugee camp, she stood outside her house made of sticks and covered with a green tarp. It wasn't her sparse surroundings that made me remember her, but the huge smile on her face while she waved to me as I drove by.

This is just a quick example to show you what I mean. By doing some tightening, it will leave more room for dialog, body language, and descriptions.

Your message is a great one. I love that you still pray for this little girl who likely has her own kids by now. Those prayers have protected that frail little girl over the years. In sure of it. Her life may not be eady, but you touched it and you touched mine by sharing your story.
Bonnie Bowden 
03/09/17
Congratulations on your 3rd place finish in the Intermediate category, Gloria.

Touching story about the impact one little girl, Amni, had on your life. I imagine you might have had an impact on her life too.