The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/11/17
Great poem!
This is a lovely poem. Poetry isn't my strongest genre but the rhymes seemed to fit and the message flowed.

I suspected there would be quite a few Marthas and Marys in this week's topic. Jan from Jan's Writing Basics gave me great advice 7 years ago. She said to write down the first 5 ideas you thought of when you heard the topic, and then throw them away because it's likely many others thought of same idea. If you feel God nudging you to do such a story, think of ways to make it different. One way might be to tell it from the perspective of the neighbor girl or if you want to be daring from the POV of the mop and broom (or Mary's mop and Martha's broom).

I did notice in your poem, you switched voices from third person to first person. Be careful to stay consistent. If meant to be Jesus speaking, put it in quotation marks.

You make some great points. I think we can all relate to being too busy in this world in which we live. When Jesus had this lesson, he knew you would use it as an example and that your words would touch everyone who reads it. Nice job.

02/27/17
A very nice poem. I enjoyed reading this. All the best in your future challenge entries. Many Blessings!