The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like your poem, I like rhyming myself.
Interesting how your used uncommon words.
I have a question because I am just leaning about the use of your commas, they are not consistent.
You used a period in the middle of the fist line in the verse second from the bottom.
The message was right on target. I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed your poem very much. It was right on target. The change in the rhythm is interesting. I have to admit I'm pretty locked into a consistent rhyming pattern. Still, I enjoyed the way you mixed it up. Good job.
I'll admit I would not be the best to critique poetry for correct style and form. I just know what I like to read. It was a good one for me. I kept reading it. That says a lot. Enjoyed very much. Thanks! God bless.
You mentioned some of my favorite kinds of word play (like Spoonerisms), and that was charming.

I felt that your poem lacked a consistent focus, since it covered both innocent slips of the tongue and more harmful ones. Also, the irregular meter interfered with the flow.

This had a homey, folksy feel that is appealing to readers.