The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/02/16
Interesting read within a read...good message.

God bless~
This is a great story. You had a couple of powerful conflicts that compelled me to keep reading. I don't think you needed the opening paragraph. Instead I'd jump right into the story. It hooks the reader faster. You also have a delightful sense of humor sprinkled throughout, which balanced those ewww moments for me. I thoroughly enjoyed this from second paragraph to the end. You did a fantastic job.
12/04/16
You did a good job of writing the dialogue for the son with dental problems. I can't imagine the pain he went through!

I think you meant to write, as [we] all had hoped.

Keep writing!
Someone either did some research for this piece or has had some similar experience.

This is a well written family scene with emotions included. But what else could a mother do even if God was in charge of everything?

I liked the calmness in accepting the situation.
12/08/16
Congratulations, Katy, on placing 3rd in the Intermediate category.