The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/29/16
Thank you for your submission...I really enjoyed it! You explained how fleeting our days are, and how important it is to wisely plan for the future and listen to God's voice. To seize the day and as you put it so powerfully..." efficiency and effectiveness come from those periods in life where there is blank space on the calendar." Great job!
This is a great message. You packed a lot in this piece. I can relate and often say we spend so much of our life wishing it away(I can't wait for summer. Oh I hate having to sit in a waiting room for too long. Why doesn't he hurry?). It's a valuable lesson. I could also relate to that feeling of wanting time to stop during Summer camp or religious retreats, but alas, I always had to return to the real world. My main red ink would be the number of times you used schedule (I think 4)and calendar (2). I think you could tighten that up a bit, which might leave you some more words. I liked the Bible verses you used. Your message is a timely one for sure. You definitely wrote on topic too.
10/29/16
Charlotte and Shann, thank you for taking time to read my article. The feedback is extremely helpful. You make good points to tighten up my writing. Thank you!
11/01/16
You've touched on an issue that's very important to a lot of women, and I believe your words to be very wise.

I'd like to see this tightened up a bit--the introductory paragraphs about your childhood and youth could probably be trimmed in order to make room for a few anecdotes that are more relevant to your central message. Using more specific examples will make this more compelling for your reader.
The last two paragraphs says a mouthful

The Bible tells us what is wrong and what is right to do so it is always good never to plan on doing wrong but do we choose all the good we should be doing. Giving the choices to God will guide us in what we choose to do.

Thanks for writing.
12/01/16
Wonderful devotional and reminder of the One who created and controls time.

Congratulations on your level win.