The Official Writing Challenge
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04/14/16
Well said!

Blessings~
Interesting position for an angel. Well written.

I enjoyed it.
04/15/16
This was interesting. In the beginning, all the names of the angel hierarchy got confusing. You could have used more paragraphs and white space for easier reading. A couple of sentences required a 2nd reading to understand.
I enjoyed your charming take on the topic. I think telling it from the POV of an angel is fresh and interesting.

Most authors struggle with show don't tell. Your first part was mostly telling. You could tweak it just a bit and make it more showing. For example: Just as I started to make my way to Earth, I heard another angel call me. "Hey Tertia, you forgot your harp."
Praying for patience, I turned around. "You know that myth about angels sitting on clouds, playing harps really bugs me. Besides, I have an important assignment."
"Oh, who is it? I could look her up on Facebook or google her for you."
"It's not funny. That so-called social media is the main reason Verna needs my help."

Of course, I took liberties just to show you one way to paint a picture using body language, dialog, and even humor. Near the end, you do a lot more showing and it did pull me in. You have a great message, although it might feel a little preachy to some, the message is one we all need to remember. I'm so glad God created angels to watch over us. I know the ones watching over me have been quite busy, but boy am I grateful. You did a nice job on this charming story and interesting characters. I look forward to reading more of your work.
04/19/16
Very interesting. I am writing a book about a guardian angel. I like your POV. Thanks.
04/20/16
Loved the subject matter & the POV. The format could have been cleaner & I agree about the angel names being somewhat confusing, but, all in all, I enjoyed it. Well done.
04/20/16
Interesting reading the POV of an angel. Thanks for the reminder.
04/21/16
I enjoyed the story through the P.O.V of the angel. This tale has many spiritual truths throughout.

I almost didn't read this because the text appeared as one long sentence and felt overwhelming. I'm so glad I did.
04/21/16
Congratulations, Elaine, on placing Highly commendable in the Intermediate category.

You have great potential as a writer, and I think you would have placed higher this week if you would have broken your story down into paragraphs.
04/21/16
Congrats!

Blessings~