The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/05/16
Creative way to approach the topic this week! I loved it.

God bless~
02/07/16
Very creative take on the topic this week.
02/10/16
Your writing is quite good, and I appreciated that you didn't try to keep us guessing for several paragraphs who your unusual narrator is--it became obvious quite soon and we were able to appreciate the camera's unique POV.

Here's something for you to consider--usually when a piece is written from an unusual POV (like an inanimate object), it's so the reader can see or perceive things that humans wouldn't ordinarily see or perceives. But for almost all of your entry, the camera sees pretty ordinary things--her preparations to leave, the flight, etc. It's not until the last paragraph that the camera begins to experience what most humans can't--but we don't get any of that except 'And I see it all.' If you revisit this piece, I'd encourage you to give us more of the camera's unique sensations in Colombo and Galle Fort--or to have the camera give us a flash of perception that we wouldn't ordinarily think of. Basically, what I'm saying is that your story has a gimmick--what is the purpose of that gimmick? Something for you to think about.

You're a good writer--your pacing matches the camera's journey, and you gave the camera a bit of personality. I hope to read more from you in the coming weeks.
02/11/16
Very creative. Like the others I recognize a good writer. Flows nicely and is clear. Good job!
02/11/16
Congratulations, Jennifer, on your 3rd place finish in the Intermediate Category.

I think you have a gift for writing, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
02/11/16
Congratulations!! Really enjoyed this piece.
Imaginative. If I was a camera in actuality speaking, I wonder if my dialogue wouldn't have been very similar. Nice take.

Congratulations.