The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/04/15
This was a powerful entry with authentic emotions and questions that loomed large in the wife's bitter cries.

This could almost be a "novella" ...my kind of story, happy ending from the ashes which turn into beauty.

Great job!

God bless~
This was a compelling story about true love and forgiveness. The child will led them as the Bible says. Well-written.
12/05/15
This story was heart wrenching and a well written account of redemption.
12/05/15
Wow! This full of pain and anger. I couldn't stop reading. You did a great job of storytelling and dialogue. This is one of favorites this
week.Thanks for sharing.
I thought this was a delightful story. You did a great job of capturing the mother's grief and anger, and the little girl was previous.

My only red ink would be I don't think you needed to tie it up so neatly. Things happened too fast and too much in that last part. I think it would have been great to end it with forgiving. I liked that she prayed with the daughter. Perhaps instead of the next paragraph, you could have included the actual prayer.

It's hard to do a story in one week and only 750 words. Many people struggle with endings. You did a nice job of pulling me in right off. The conflict was clear, and you did a nice job of spacing it all out. I liked your fresh take on the topic and your message is a timely one.
12/09/15
Nice job with the characters emotions.

There is power in forgiveness, that's for sure.
12/10/15
A moving story.
12/10/15
Congrats!

God bless~