Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: STIR (11/12/15)
TITLE: Classic American Recipe
By Janice Wappel
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Yields: Classic mixed up Teens/Adults
Total Time for recipe: Birth to eighteen years-or beyond
Marinate daily in American culture
1. "Whisk" together 6-8 hours of viewing cartoons, playing video games, or whatever the child wants. Add unfiltered high speed Internet and TV as child grows older. (Do not check on content of movies, games, or web sites as this would be an invasion of their privacy.)
2. "Blend in" unlimited talk and text on the latest IPhone by the age of 8 to of course be like all the other children in the neighborhood. Be sure you pay for the phone, and don't force the child or teen to do chores as payment for phone or other items. Trust your child completely on social media, and don't be noisy about photo's they have taken, it's always best to stay out of their business.
3. "Add in" credit cards and plenty of cash at an early age. For their maximum shopping experience and the latest trends, ignore all tantrums and give them what they ask for so you don't bruise their tender, little minds.
4. "Combine" a shiny new car for graduation so all the other families can see what a wonderful kid you have raised. (Do not under any circumstance make your teen pay for the car, or the insurance.) Don't check to see where they are going, or who they are with. Please, do not make them pay for any traffic tickets incurred, or possible damages to the car as this can harm their precious psyche.
5."Gently fold in" the sex talk, just don't talk about the consequences of sexual activity as it's always best to leave topics like that to the school officials. After all, you don't want to confuse your teens about sexual identity, or other sensitive sexual topics that you know nothing about.
6."Sprinkle" just enough religion to say your family are Christians, but not enough to convict the child or yourself of any wrong doing. Don't allow your child to have contact with a Christian youth pastor who could cause the child to have an "identity crisis" by explaining what sin really is.
7."Stir" all ingredients together and let children marinate in the American culture for eighteen years or so. You can also stir in a little beer for taste (you know they will drink anyway so its best they do it at home where you can supervise.)
Once all the ingredients have been whisked, sprinkled, blended, combined, folded, and then stirred, you will have a classic mixed-up American child that will demand to have everything for free. Perhaps if you are lucky, they will live with you until the age of thirty, or beyond. You might also find yourself raising your grandchildren while your own children are "finding themselves," in rehab, or in jail.
ENJOY, and let other parents know about this Classic American recipe.
"For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger (in your child) produces strife." (And we certainly don't want that!)
Proverbs 30:33 NIV
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