The Official Writing Challenge
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Creative and touching entry. Well done. Thanks for sharing.
There is a place for creative writing. Look at Pilgrims Progress and some of C. S. Lewis's works.

One thought on a well written scene: God, Son/Jesus and Holy Spirit are one (in nature) therefore the Holy Spirit is male also.

Your piece would be just as effective if "He darted here and there."
I love this. I know some people don't think it wise to put thoughts into God, but I often envision things just like this. I think it's quite unique. I also liked that you made the Spirit a she. I suspect that might make others cringe, but I enjoyed the freshness of this piece. It's one of my favorites this week.
I don't read other comments before I write mine so I wanted to pop back in with a wink. God is so far beyond anything our feeble human minds can imagine. I think it's quite possible to have both male and female traits and still be as one nature. I think it's something beyond our understanding. But that's just my opinion, I could be totally wrong. ;)
This was a creative and thought-provoking story. This piece flowed nicely.