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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: FOLD (10/08/15)
Glenn McCauley sat behind his aging desk listening to the man across from him. Glenn had known Eugene and his family for many years. In fact, the two men had been friends years before they took on their new relationship. Now, sadly, that new relationship was coming to a sputtering end. Glenn struggled to follow Eugene's narrative. He had heard so many of them that they had all begun to run together. Eugene and his family had stayed longer than many, but now it was their moment to leave.

"Glenn, I like you, but the church just doesn't have the resources our family needs. I need to put my family first."

Glenn almost missed the fact that Eugene had stopped talking. He rallied and replied, "I understand, Eugene. Your family will be missed, but I wish you all the best."

"That sounded kind of canned, Glenn."

Glenn took a deep breath and replied, "I suppose it sort of was. I've done a lot of these."

"But I'm your friend."

"You are."

Eugene stared for a moment before saying, "Well, I guess I'll see you later."

"I'll call you next week."

"I appreciate that."

Eugene stood up as did Glenn. He shook Glenn's hand before leaving his office. Glenn plopped himself back down on his chair and exhaled long and slow.

"I need to get out of here," Glenn said to the ceiling.

He stood up and walked out of his office and began to walk around the church property. The sun was just beginning to set and its golden rays produced an otherworldly view. Glenn stopped to just take in the beauty. He needed the reminder that there was more to life than the day to day. Life could be pure beauty at times.

"Thank you, Lord."

Glenn spoke with true thankfulness. In the midst of deep disappointment, he remembered that there were always truths about life that were capable of producing joy.

"Beautiful view."

Glenn felt his wife's touch on his shoulder and reveled in the joy of hearing her voice.

"It is."

"Are Eugene and Cheryl leaving?"

"You know they are."

Glenn turned to look his wife in the eyes. He struggled to appear upbeat, but he knew he was failing.

Rebecca smiled weakly as she asked, "You ever wonder when it is enough?"

"Enough?"

"Time to fold your hand."

"Not my style."

"But isn't that a valid strategy at the right time?"

"It is. I'll have something to say about that on Sunday.

Pastor Glenn McCauley looked out over his congregation. He truly loved the faces as they each came into view.

"I have something unique to talk to you about today."

Glenn paused. The emotions were so intense he wondered if he could keep speaking. He drew deep on reserves and continued.

"You all know that our congregation has suffered losses recently. Eugene and Cheryl have recently decided to attend another faith gathering. The question was posed to me as to whether or not I was ready to fold my hand. This phrase is used in the game of poker and it means that you stop attempting to win the chips in the middle of the table. It means that you no longer have the resources to accomplish what you set out to do."

Glenn paused once more. This time he had to dig deeper than he had intended. He found strength that he forgot he had.

"I will not fold."

Glenn walked down before the people that the Lord had placed in his hands and knelt before them. He raised his hands in prayer as tears streamed down his face. He heard prayer and praise spontaneously begin around him. He let himself go. He lay prostrate on the carpet and whispered softly to the Lord, "I will not fold. I'm in this till the end."
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This article has been read 373 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Bonnie Bowden 
10/18/15
A pastor has so much responsibility before God and man. I'm glad he didn't give up.
Pat Small
10/18/15
Interesting take. I think I'm with his wife. I guess that's proof of the author's good writing. She made two readers come to two different conclusions.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
10/23/15
This is a powerful story. With the economy suffering lately and the legalization of same sex marriage, churches everywhere are struggling.

My only critique would be the opening was a tiny bit slow for me. In a story this short, I like the conflict to grab me right away. Perhaps adding body language or dialog would help hook the reader faster. This is just an example I might show if I were editing this piece: Pastor Glenn gripped the edge of his aging desk. He found himself holding his breath as his good friend sat across him. Glenn blinked his eyes several times. Eugene is going to bail on me and this church. I can feel it. Please God, grant me wisdom.

I know I took liberties, but I wanted to show you how using body language and thoughts can create a picture for the reader and introduce the conflict right off. Jan's Writing Basics is doing a series on conflict currently on the message boards. If you haven't seen it, I'd urge you to check it out.

I think you had a creative take on the topic, plus you used a couple of different fold definitions, which is clever and worked really well together. Congratulations on ranking 2nd in your level and 14 overall. The highest rankings can be found d on the message boards. You really did a great job.