The Official Writing Challenge
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08/14/15
The teacher in the story told an unforgettable lesson.
08/16/15
You have some great imagrey here.

The "it was only a dream" ending, generally speaking, is overly done. I'd have taken that last paragraph out, and instead just labeled this as "partially fiction" (or however it was you worded it.)

Loved the part about the fountains in particular. Nice job.
08/23/15
Thanks Rachel for this great story. I particularly enjoyed reading about the mansion built in love and being reminded of the Father's love for us.