The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I loved the descriptions of the Japanese tourists with their cameras flashing. The MC with his blonde hair and impish grin was delightful.
This is good.

You had more words to play with here. It think I would have expanded this a bit. Maybe even made if from your son's POV. What made him stray? What was it that caught his eye? Was he worried, or just soaking it all in?

I like the spiritual tie in at the end.
This was well done. I know that fear when you can't find those little bodies.
Thank you for your kind and constructive comments. I am delighted and blessed.