The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
06/14/15
This is an excellent example of how an angel might pose as a human to protect us.

Red ink: I saw no taxi in the lobby. The taxi would not be in the lobby, but out on the street outside of the lobby.

The first sentence of the last paragraph needs a semi-colon or a comma and a coordinating conjunction because it is actually two complete sentences.
06/14/15
This was an interesting story. Sounds like something God would arrange for one of His saints.
I enjoyed this story. You did a nice job of building the suspense. My gut told me the cab driver was the bad guy. It's a good message for me to look for the good in people and pray for wisdom.

Your dialog didn't feel natural to me. My first thought was perhaps English isn't your first language. Most people tend to use contractions in speech. Also, instead of telling the story work on more showing. For example this part:
Thank you. I will wait for the bus. I said politely.
Buses do not run on this route on Sundays. This area is not a safe place to be alone at this time of the day. Get into the cab, he said; and this time his voice was more persistent.
Could be this:
"Thanks, but I'll wait for the bus." I smiled, nodded my head, but took a step backwards.
The driver tipped his hat and looked me in the eye. "The buses don't run here on Sundays. This isn't a safe part of town; I wouldn't let my daughter come here by herself. Please, get in the cab." He leaned over and opened the door.

By tightening the dialog up a bit, I tried to make it sound more natural and added descriptions that would show his persistence.

I liked the caring nature of the cab driver. I do believe God watches out for us way more than we could ever imagine. I also liked how she had job offers in the safer part of town. God provides for us. We just need to have faith.