The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/04/15
I am so glad the MC found the light. Astrology and superstition have the Prince of Darkness and false power behind them.
06/11/15
Persistance and prayer pays off. Thank you.
This is a lovely story. I think your idea is fresh and original, at least to the challenge, but certainly not to the world, which is a great reason to use it in the challenge to open the reader's eyes.

It feels like a testimony, but I see that it is fiction. Because it's fiction, I might encourage you to add a conflict right away. Perhaps one way would be to tell it from a different POV. Perhaps through the eyes of the Christian would allow you to grab that hook. She could be wrestling with leaving the pamphlet on the door or God could be nudging her to go inside, but she's afraid. Even if you stuck with your current POV, you could do something like: Glancing at the calendar, my stomach cramped up and my chest started pounding. It was Tuesday and that meant the crazy Jesus lady would be dropping by to tape a pamphlet to my door. Why can't she leave me alone? I wonder how she'd feel if I went to her church and left leaflets about astronomy.
I know I took some liberties with adjusting your MC's personality, but I wanted to show you one way to help hook the reader and clearly show the conflict.
Sorry, I hit submit when I was trying to scroll down to my last paragraph. I enjoyed the voice of the characters and like I said before this is a real problem in the world. My death phobias started in my earlier teens. I'd keep my parents up all night screaming and crying. My mom sent me to talk to a Christian lady she'd been friends with. Her first question was "Do you read the horoscopes?"
I nodded and admitted once in a great while I would glance at it, but didn't really believe in it. She encouraged me to never read one again because I was opening the door to Satan. In my eyes, it seemed as harmless as Dear Abby and the comic strip section, which were both on the same page as the horoscopes.

Another tiny red ink is you used peaked when I think you meant piqued. I liked the way you delivered your message. God can save us from our little mistakes, prevent us from going down dark roads, and loves us more than we can imagine. That definitely came through in your piece.