The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/27/15
This was a creative piece. It kept me guessing through the story. What could be more wonderful than a child being born.
05/27/15
I was totally lost until I came to the end. I missed the 9 months at the beginning and wondered about the growth and the site. But you surprised the reader and nothing is as wonderful as a new birth.
I love a good twist. I didn't predict the ending at all and that rarely happens. I liked how you cave little clues. I'm not sure if you nailed the topic. I applaud you for the out-of-the-box thinking though. Sometimes, I do that and stray too far from the box. If you didn't have the baby's name at the end, I'd never guess the topic. In order to nail the meeting the topic criterion, the whole article needs to showcase the topic. I think you had a great opening. It pulled me in and made me think. Your ending was great too. You definitely entertained in a fresh way. You left me with a warm feeling and a smile. My first grandchild is two weeks old, so on the second reading, I imagined her into the story. It was quite clever.
After reading it one more time, I had to leave another comment. I love your tongue-in-cheek humor. I giggled several times and even laughed loudly once or twice. I think the piece is brilliant, especially the second or third time around. I suspect I would find new lines to delight me each time I read it.