Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: I SURRENDER ALL (to God) (don’t write about the song) (05/07/15)
TITLE: Questions I Ask Myself
By Melinda Bozak
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â€śAre these my last breaths?â€ť I wondered. Would my parentsâ€™ doorstep be the last place I visit before leaving this world? With multiple gunshot wounds, I had to entertain the idea that it was a very real possibility.
â€śIs this really happening?â€ť â€śCould I die...today?â€ť â€śHow in the world am I remaining calm?â€ť
The answers would not come until days later after awakening from my comatose state.
Yes, it actually happened. Yes, I could have died. I didnâ€™t, however. That was not Godâ€™s will for me.
The calm I felt was the actualization of that "peace that passes understanding." "So THIS is what it feels like!" I thought to myself. At that moment, I had no fear, no uncertainty. I did not plead with God to spare my life nor did I plead with Him to take me home.
I surrendered the outcome to my Lord.
My breath grew labored, as I waited patiently for medical help to arrive. The delay gave me time to consider my life.
Who did I not tell about Jesus? Why did I keep quiet when I had opportunities to share Good News? Why did I not open my mouth and speak those wonderful words of life? So what if I'm shy. It doesn't excuse my failure to be an outspoken follower of Jesus Christ? Is it that I am shy, or that Iâ€™m fearful of being labeled a â€śBible-thumping religious fanatic?â€ť
I was sure of my salvation but wondered, â€śHow did I fail my Father in Heaven?â€ť
Itâ€™s true. I did surrender my life to Jesus Christ. I failed, however, to surrender my ALL. The question that I am unable to answer is, why?
Have I finally surrendered my all to Him?
My life, my marriage, and my child?
My friends, my family and my finances?
My health, my work and my talents?
My pride and my shame?
My joy and my sorrows?
My past, my present, and my future?
Have I surrendered all that I have, all that I am, and all that I am hoping to be?
Though it is the desire of my heart, I still fail to release my "death grip" in certain areas of my life.
How is it that I can withhold ANYTHING knowing Jesus surrendered EVERYTHING for me?
17 The things our old selves want to do are against what the Holy Spirit wants. The Holy Spirit does not agree with what our sinful old selves want. These two are against each other. So you cannot do what you want to do. New Life Version (NLV)
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