The Official Writing Challenge
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05/16/15
I love reading this astounding testimony - it is wonderful how God turned tragic loss into surrender and joy for your daughter.
05/17/15
This is inspirational, and I appreciate your openness and willingness to share your daughter's journey with us. The critique I have for this is very minimal.

Several of the paragraphs in the body of this entry are quite lengthy. Modern readers have short attention spans, and do better with shorter paragraphs, so I'd recommend breaking a few of them into shorter chunks. The beginning, with dialogue and short, fast-paced paragraphs, held my interest more.

It's not recommended to use exclamation points except in dialogue. Where your daughter is speaking, exclamation points are fine, but within the narrative, you should probably eliminate them.

One of your writing strengths is sentence structure--you have varied and interesting sentences that give this piece a nice flow. Well done!
05/18/15
I was really blessed reading this story. It is a great testimony to God's faithfulness and love.
05/19/15
Wow. This is really good.

One suggestion to strengthen your writing would be to get rid of dialogue tags like "she said" or "she exclaimed" all together. Instead, introduce who is speaking with an action, or description. So when you said this: "“What do you mean…healed?” I asked, hesitating a little on the last word." you could try something like this: "What do you mean," I hesitated. "...healed?" That makes thing flow a bit better.

Great job with this. And I've heard of the International House of Prayer. Every three years, I've attended the Urbana Missions Conference sponsored by InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, and held every three years. The students and leaders at the House or Prayer pray for all the Urbana attendees. And I think its so cool that the two biggest cities in Missouri are taken over by young Christians every so often. :)