The Official Writing Challenge
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Beautiful testimony - I assume this is a true story (regarding the movie watching) - how amazing that God would reveal himself to you in this way and bring you to repentant faith in Christ.
I love the poem at the beginning.

In the middle, instead of just telling us what was going on in your mind, perhaps you could tell us your thoughts. No, you probably don't remember them exactly, but you have an idea. So maybe something like this, with the thoughts in italics, which I can't do here. "No. Please stop. He has suffered to much already." or something like that.

Great job with this.