The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/23/15
Praise God for His infinite mercy and hands of grace!

Wow- powerful indeed. This story will stay with me a long long time!

What a powerful and uplifting testimony.

God bless~
04/26/15
There's nothing like grave injury to one's child to put things in perspective--I've been there, too. You did a good job of capturing the anxiety of those days.

I'd encourage you to examine your sentence structures; many of them are connected with 'and'--sometimes with two or more 'and's. While this isn't technically incorrect, when so many sentences have the same structure, your writing doesn't have the flow and the variety that it could have. Consider taking some of your 'and' sentences and re-working them. Some of them could be made into two shorted sentences, some of them could do with a comma or a semicolon or a dash, or some could simply be re-written.

I loved the final imagery (putting troubles on a balance), and that was a very strong way to end the piece.
04/30/15
Rachel,

I'm pleased to see that your moving and powerful story received recognition.

Congrats.

God bless~
05/03/15
So good to remember and put into practice your words of wisdom. It often is the worst things that happen in our life that we find out what the best things from God are. I think I need to work on that line, but you know what I mean because your story said it well. Love and God bless, Penny