Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: LOVE (agape and/or phileo) (03/12/15)
- TITLE: For the First Time
By LaVonne Wood
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Because it was a Christian college, it was acceptable to forgo normal class routine in order to do ministry, as the Spirit led. Miss Nancy was especially sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and the needs of her students.
I considered not going to class even though I had never missed a class since the day I started College. I didn’t want to mess up my perfect attendance. However, deep down I wanted to deal with this anger building inside me. I just didn’t know how.
Class started as usual this time, giving me hope I could get through the hour. Try as I might, I could not concentrate on the lesson. I just kept thinking about the past and wondering what it was that was causing the angry feelings. Did I really forgive my father for all he had done to me? I thought I had. I kept remember the first time when I was only twelve years old. Would I ever be free from the pain?
Miss Nancy ended the class by giving an invitation for anyone who wanted to stay and talk to do so. “I still feel there is someone who needs a touch from God,” she said.
Several other times I wanted to stay after class, yet never did. This time, though, I couldn’t seem to move. Tears began rolling down my checks. Soon it was just me and Miss Nancy left in the classroom. She asked if it would be all right if she called another woman in to join us.
Nancy pulled up a chair beside me and both women held my hands. “Would you like us to pray with you?”
“Yes. I think so.” I felt so scared.
“Have you heard of inner healing?”
“Well this is what I want you to do,” she continued.” Close your eyes and, in your mind, go back in time and picture the very worst day in your life. However, this time, take Jesus with you.”
Immediately my thoughts went back to that night when I was twelve years old. I saw Jesus standing there with me, watching as my dad raped me.
“How could You? How could You let this happen?”
I was so angry with Him for allowing this terrible thing to happen to me. I began beating and beating Him on His chest with my fists as hard as I could. I began sobbing and shouting.
“I hate You! I hate You! I hate You! Why didn’t You stop him.”
He just stood there and let me keep pounding Him until all the anger was gone.
I stopped beating and fell into Jesus arms. He wrapped His arms around me, holding me tight. I looked into His eyes and said, “I forgive you.”
At that moment, I felt ‘LOVE’, for the first time!
Name of teacher changed.
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