The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/23/15
Excellent writing! I smiled at "Sleeping like a neglected computer." Great simile. A little red ink: I think the last line isn't necessary. It would be stronger ending with mom dropping the chocolate manna, I mean Oreos, into her hand.
01/24/15
Great job! I loved this piece, well done.

God bless~
01/25/15
Great ending! This is the second story I've reviewed relating to the over-eating of oreo cookies, lol...
01/29/15
Congrats.

God bless~
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