The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/30/14
Good story, clever and interesting. Well done.

God bless~
10/31/14
I know I would be terrified to be lost and alone in a strange city at night, not knowing the local language! I could really feel for your character! One thing that wasn't clear to me at first, though, was that the person who tried to snatch her luggage was on a motorcycle. You let us know a bit later, but I was a bit confused to begin with. Maybe it would have helped to inform us of that right off. Anyway, I'm glad Apple came to rescue her and deliver her safely to her destination! I like happy endings! :)
11/01/14
i was getting into your story.i think you should redo it as a longer story and see where you can go with it
11/01/14
Being in a foreign country and missing your one familiar connection would be pretty scarey. The other elements added to the intrigue. Great job!
That was a lucky escape! I could believe your MC's predicament.
I'd like to read more about the MC's adventures in China.
11/01/14
Good job on dialogue, and interior thoughts for MC. A few places might benefit the use of a comma. Overall, an interesting and well written story. It appears to be a chapter pulled out of a book, which makes the fact it leaves more questions than answers in my mind understandable. Thanks for sharing your creative entry.
11/01/14
Well done with this story. I liked the happy ending. Maybe you could have made a bit more of this:"Denise had sounded a little too cheerful for Cindy. Did she know something Cindy didn’t?" It didn't seem to lead to anything. Otherwise, a good read.
11/05/14
I think you did a great job setting the scene. Any reader would be able to see how stressful that would be. Well done!
Great descriptions!
Hugs, Judi
1 Timothy 3:16 KJV
11/06/14
Congratulations!

God bless~