The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/30/14
Well written and well done.
Loved the message at the end.

God bless~
This is a timely story with a lovely message of faith and God's faithfulness.
My two cents of red ink, for what it's worth...
I might suggest choosing one of your characters, for this limited number of words, from whose perspective to tell the story. My attention was grabbed by the first line, but wandered as the next few paragraphs read like a biography, taking a while to get back to the suspenseful action. Perhaps you might have started the story as they met their partners in Israel, with very brief flashbacks woven in about Alex's and Kazzi's history.
Hope that made sense...
One other thing... Dialogue for each character is usually placed in separate paragraphs.
Keep those creative juices flowing!
I liked this story! It tells of the truth as it is happening in the Middle East today.
How fortunate we are to live in a country where we can freely worship our Lord and Savior!
Keep up the good work and continue to remind us that freedom is not really free.
God Bless, my friend.
11/05/14
An action packed story of suspense. You have a definite gift for story telling. Your detail is amazing.

Keep writing!